Humour

Trump to host WH screening of "What's Opera, Doc?"

Trump to host WH screening of "What's Opera, Doc?"

Donald Trump plans to host screening of “What’s Opera, Doc?” for White House staffers, following success of "Finding Nemo".

Jenna Simeonov
2 violists injured after Cunegonde's aria ends in chaos

2 violists injured after Cunegonde's aria ends in chaos

Cunegonde’s aria ends in chaos after soprano accidentally launches broken string of pearls into orchestra pit, 2 violists report painful welts.

Jenna Simeonov
Music historians find lost Mozart opera, all agree that it is crap

Music historians find lost Mozart opera, all agree that it is crap

Breaking: Music historians discover lost Mozart opera, opera circles collectively agree that it is crap.

Jenna Simeonov
An open letter to a rude bunch of operagoers

An open letter to a rude bunch of operagoers

Maybe you were dragged to the opera against your will. Maybe you were guilted into seeing the show, because you knew someone in it. Maybe you were hangry, or maybe your ass fell asleep. Or maybe Occam's Razor applies to you and your disruptive crew, and you're rude, phone-addicted people who can't read the room.

Jenna Simeonov
Diegetic music in opera: 3 ways to use it

Diegetic music in opera: 3 ways to use it

One of the most moving examples of this diegetic music technique is in that shattering finale of Poulenc's Dialogues des Carmélites. The nuns sing the "Salve regina" as they are led hopelessly to the guillotine; one by one, the voices peter out, and Poulenc even adds the horrific sound of a guillotine, as though he wants to make you wince and weep.

Jenna Simeonov
4 great love duets & why they're awkward

4 great love duets & why they're awkward

Yet Cio-Cio San is singing about life-long marriage and the happiness and stability it would bring her; Pinkerton is really singing about experiencing the world, marvelling at the obedience and admiration in the eyes of his young Japanese wife and getting excited to have some exotic sex with her. And never forget that line about Cio-Cio San being fifteen years old...yikes.

Jenna Simeonov
A true operatic classic: "Kill the wabbit!"

A true operatic classic: "Kill the wabbit!"

It propelled the stereotype that opera singers are angry, horned ladies. It taught us some of Wagner's best tunes, before we even realized what they were. It tugged at our heartstrings, tickled our funny bones. It's one of the most epic face-offs between Bugs and Elmer, cloaked in a 7-minute version of the entirety of Wagner's "Der Ring des Nibelungen". If you haven't yet seen it, get comfy and prepare yourself for some genius.

Jenna Simeonov
4 awesome rage arias that aren't the Queen of the Night

4 awesome rage arias that aren't the Queen of the Night

The best thing about opera is that it takes any human emotion, and blows it up to huge proportions. There's really no such thing as "mildly happy" or "somewhat down" in opera; even an explosive emotion like anger is amplified. With so many anger-inducing headlines on our news feeds lately, some catharsis seemed appropriate.

Jenna Simeonov
Charlotte Church the latest voice in music's Trump boycott

Charlotte Church the latest voice in music's Trump boycott

Speaking of the various circles of hell, Drumpf, is having a really hard time finding people who want to celebrate his win as President of the Divided States of America; the list of people refusing to perform is growing longer... and longer... and longer... With the event a mere 9 days away, so far we have: Jackie Evancho singing, the Rockettes performing on a "voluntary basis", and a college marching band - that's it.

Greg Finney
The Ride of the Dragkyries: how to name an opera drag queen

The Ride of the Dragkyries: how to name an opera drag queen

The attention-seeking Lucia wears her di Glammermore tartan with pride, and just a titch of morbidity. She likes cemeteries, believes in ghosts, and she has the wild eyes of someone with a past - someone you don't want to piss off. One is never quite sure if that smear of red on her kilt is from her lipstick, or from something more sinister.

Jenna Simeonov Greg Finney

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